Klouchebag

Klouchebag | The Standard for Asshattery


mayhemstudios14174 retweets
Klouchebag | The Standard for Asshattery

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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, nil transitum lorem anapolis amet sit dolor.

No, seriously, what's this?

I got annoyed with the fuss around Klout , the horrible social-game that assigns you a score based on how "influential" you are online. This is the result.

Who made it?

It called me names!

Sorry. Don't take it personally. This is about as scientific as Klout's own measurements — which is to say, it's pretty much a crapshoot. You're probably a lovely person. Although you might want to cut down on the swearing a bit.

What do the ratings mean?

Klouchebag uses the ARSE rating system. Anger: profanity and rage. Retweets: "please RT"s, no or constant retweeting, and old-style. Social Apps: every useless checkin on foursquare or its horrible brethren. And English Usage: if you use EXCLAMATION MARKS OMG!!! or no capitals at all, this'll be quite high.

Isn't "douchebag" a sexist insult?

Opinion is divided . I chose it because it's the only insult that you can put "kl" in the front of and still have it mostly make sense. (Plus, "klunt.com" was unavailable.)

It's broken!

Quite possibly. This was coded in a few hours' frenzy after getting the idea, and there are almost certainly bugs.

But... but my Klout score is important!

No it's not. It's like search engine optimisation, only for yourself. Ignore it. Concentrate on making amazing things, caring about the people around you, and not being a douchebag. If you do that, then you'll soon realise that the number some algorithm made up about you doesn't matter one jot.

I have another question!

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